Recrudescence
by snowangel4
Summary: S/V Sydney and Vaughn deal with the past and future, only to be left with broken hearts. Angsty. Post The Telling


Title: Recrudescence

Author: Snowangel

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, please don't sue.

Rating: PG

AN: Takes place right after The Telling, this isn't necessarily what I want to happen, and I don't really know where this story came from, I guess my muse has finally returned. Also sorry for the delay on updating One Fish, Two Fish. That is all….enjoy!

"Vaughn... why are you wearing that ring?" She questioned steadily.

"Syd... since that night... you were missing. You've been missing for almost two years."

 She said nothing, but her mind reeled in utter confusion as she attempted to comprehend his words. She swallowed and fought to regain her composure. She looked at the gold band that encircled his finger, and somehow couldn't take her eyes off of it. She finally pulled her gaze away and looked into his worried face with her deep brown eyes, full of questions, pain and confusion. He clenched his jaw and looked away from her, he couldn't stand to see her when he told her.

"Syd, I'm married." He whispered.

The words sent shivers down her spine and reached every nerve in her body. She took a deep breath and suddenly everything was cold-the air she breathed in, the slight breeze coming from the opened door, her hands, most of all her heart. Her mind raced. She said nothing, just stared into his eyes, with a mixture of confusion and shock.

She had said nothing. He had expected her to get mad, start crying or even beat him up. But she just sat there staring at him, and it was killing him. He met her eyes but soon couldn't handle the intensity that she held in them. He looked downed at the floor, and swallowed, his mind racing, trying to think of something, anything to say to her. But he couldn't form any more words. He looked up again; she was still staring at him. 

An agent knocked on the partially opened door and informed them their plane was leaving. Neither of them moved. It was if they were frozen to that spot, that time, his words. After an excruciatingly long minute he watched her stand up and move towards the door, saying nothing. He remained seated, and just watched her. She reached the door and turned around, "We should be going." Her voice was quiet, and calm, yet contained a slight shake when she spoke. 

~~***~~

They had been on the plane for an hour, and still no more words were spoken. Sydney's mind was racing with a thousand questions but she couldn't bring herself to speak to him yet. She watched him, he was at his computer, typing furiously. The only light in the dark plane, coming from his glowing screen cast a shadow over his face. They had shared too many glances, of him pleading with her with his eyes, showing his pain, relief, and guilt as he tried to voice his feelings. She sat staring straight ahead, her eyes boring a hole through the wall as she carefully planned out her thoughts, her words. He'd glance up from his laptop about once every minute, checking on her as they sat alone in the cabin of the cargo plane. He was typing when she spoke up in an even voice. "Where's my mother?"

The sound of her voice alerted his ears and his head jerked up from the computer. He swallowed and started to speak, relieved that she had said something. "We don't know." He answered softly. She simply nodded in response. 

"How's my father?" She asked in the same indifferent tone. She wasn't even looking at him; she just sat facing the wall. 

Vaughn sighed as he contemplated how to answer the question, "He's been better. He's still with the CIA, but your disappearance hit him hard." He said, "It hit us all hard." He added quietly.  She turned and looked at him with an accusing glance, but said nothing. 

"And Will?" 

"He's fine, he's working as a full agent now." He said. "He misses you so much." He added, his voice shaking and becoming faint, "We all do." He choked out as he lower his head into his hands and breathing deeply, willing himself not to cry. 

She stared at him intently as she steadied her own breathing and fought off the beginnings of tears from the corners of her eyes. A long moment passed. When he finally looked up he spoke, "You should get some sleep."

"I'm not tired." She replied. She stood up and started pacing around the small plane as if to prove her point. 

"What are you working on?" She inquired as she glanced at the screen.

"Data analysis on info we have on Sloane's location, trying to match it somehow to your reappearance in Hong Kong." He replied quickly.

"Let me look." She stated quietly as he moved over and made room for her. She looked at the computer and started typing, figuring out different scenarios, working furiously, taking over his task. They sat close to each other, so they could both see the screen. But Vaughn wasn't looking at the screen. He turned and watched her work, enthralled at her very presence. He couldn't believe she was actually sitting right next to him, let alone alive. He wanted so bad to reach out and touch her. To capture her lips in his and make all the troubles in the world disappear. He glanced down at his hand, the solid gold band glittered almost mockingly back up at him. He watched her work for over two hours.

His eyes were drooping and his body begged for sleep. He sat next her though, watching her work. He had told her to get some sleep and she adamantly refused each time, insisting she wasn't tired and kept on working. A brief surge of power forced the screen black. She turned toward the computer as it switched on, bringing her back to the main screen identification log in. Vaughn's security profile popped up as she alerted him and he retyped his password. Sydney eyed the updated profile with interest. The words Marital Status jumped out at her as she read the name following the word Married. She momentarily looked away and swallowed. He noticed.

"Syd…." He began.

"Vaughn, don't…" She pleaded.

 "No, I'm tired of not talking to you." He said hastily as he gathered up his courage. "Syd, we thought you were dead. I'm mean you were missing for two years."

She shook her head in disbelief and turned away from him, her eyes resting on the small window of the plane, as she looked out into the complete darkness of night.

"We tried everything, I couldn't take it." He began. "Nothing," He paused, fighting to catch his breath, "Nothing led to anything. You think we didn't try everything we could?"

"I don't want to talk about this now." She said standing up, facing away from him. He stood up and walked over to face her. 

"Well I do." He stated simply, emotions running high.

"I don't want to talk about her." She managed to say, while looking down at the gold band that encircled his finger.

"I'm not talking about her I'm talking about you." He said, standing close to her.

"I don't think I can handle this right now." She said in a dangerously shaky voice as she edged away from him.

            "Syd, you have to understand. You don't know how it feels…" He began. Her head jerked up as she heard his words. 

            "I don't know how it feels?" She questioned with venom in her voice, her eyes suddenly ablaze with disbelief and fury. "You did not find your fiancé dead in a bath tub. You did not find me dead, I was missing Vaughn. And you moved on." She said sharply. "In TWO years!" 

            He looked away from her, ashamed and yet somehow mad at her. "I'm sorry Syd, I'm not as strong as you." He said, shaking his head slightly, "I don't know how I am supposed to feel."

"And just how am I supposed to feel?" She asked, facing him, her eyes pooling with pent up tears. "I'm just supposed to get up and move on?" She asked, pacing the room. "Jesus Christ Vaughn I was in love with you yesterday!" She said, "Yesterday!" She repeated. " I mean I wake up expecting to be in Santa Barbara with you. And instead, you're married." She said in a low voice.

A long silence followed. Neither spoke, but thoughts whirled about in each of their minds. He looked at her, filled with desire, regret and guilt. She looked so vulnerable yet remained strong. "I don't know how to deal with this." She gave in. Her look of fear broke his heart, and yet filled it with longing. He stood close to her, still amazed that she was actually standing right in from of him. He brought her up to him and pressed his lips on her. All of their emotions played out in one kiss- before she pulled away, and stared at the floor, her shoulder starting to shake. She bit her bottom lip as she looked up at him with teary eyes, not even trying to conceal her emotions. She turned away as the realization hit her that she could never be with him anymore. Her bottom lip trembled and she looked up at him again. He was standing there, studying her movements. "How could you do this to me?" She questioned in a barely audible whisper, her heart full of pain. 

"God, Sydney, I love you so much." The honesty of his words startled her a bit. 

"No, no, no, you can't love me!" She cried at him, distancing herself. "You're not supposed to love me, you're married! I am the one loving you!"

He moved closer to her, but she kept backing away, terrified of him, of her love for him.

"Vaughn…" She began warn in a weak voice.

He came closer and tried to console her, reaching out for her arms, but she jerked away from his touch, and backed away.

"Sydney!" He cried as he grabbed a hold of her. But she spun around and before she knew what she was doing she felt her hand come in contact with his cheek with such force she frightened herself. She backed away, her eyes instantly filled with regret, as she could see the outline of her hand on his face. 

"You love her! She's your wife! You're supposed to love your wife!" She spat at him, "Its just that I," She stated, losing momentum, "I was supposed to be your wife." She added as exhaustion took over her body as she sunk to the floor, unable to control her tears of anguish and pain. 

He simply stood there, in the cabin of the dingy plane, a little shocked, but immediately went to her when she had sank to the ground. He sat there next to her, wrapping his arms around her, whispering comforting words into her ear. She didn't object. They sat together for a long time. She was finally succumbing to her heavy eyelids, her eyelashes pointing towards the streaks of water that had pushed their way down her cheeks as she drifted off into sleep. He was wide-awake, agonizingly aware of her presence, and her crushed dreams. She called out his name quietly in her sleep as she shifted positions. He stroked her face ever so lightly as she let out a small moan and edged closer to him His left hand played with her hair as he relished her presence. He breathed in her familiar scent and shut his eyes, fighting off the tears and the gaping hole that seemed to plague his soul. He rested his head back against the wall, trying to bring back the times that they would lay in her bed sleeping, with him lying awake next to her, just in wonderment of her beauty. He looked out the small window, bright streaks of red and orange painted the sky in the early morning.  He held her closer, knowing that this flight would be the last time he would ever hold her.  

Fin

Please Review!! I think this will be a one-parter. I like where it ended up and don't want be too presuming by trying to write the next season. But if you all are dying to see more, review and let me know.  Thanks!


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